because you can't eat angry birds

Last Friday my cousin sent me an email:
(actual transcript from my email. Don’t judge on the grammar, we keep it loose)

Jess!

A few things. One, what are your fave apps? I am trying to find a food one for printing to our wireless printer.

To which I responded:

My fave apps...let's see, like off the top of my head what I would put out on the table? Roasted cherry tomatoes a chunk of manchego and some crackers, maybe a small bowl of caramelized onions too. Last night I made an impromptu appetizer of a goat cheese log with red pepper jelly spooned over, microwaved for about 30 seconds, just to warm and make spreadable and um, let's see what else, Sue Pithie's chicken wings and "Swedish" meatballs are party go-tos and Cousin Jenny's Cheeseball, which is on Porky D in December of 2009.

To which she responded:

You are soooooo awesome! Because, of course, one day into iPhone-ness, I meant iPhone apps! But of course any other time of the year I would have responded the exact same way! ( and your list of app apps will do me well this weekend!)

I should probably mention that I too have an iphone and because I am an American citizen with access to the outside world on a regular basis, I know what an “app” is. My nephew taught me when he got his iTouch. He is 8.

Anyways. After her response email I had a good laugh at myself and was thinking about this dual use of the abbreviation “app”. Because in my social circle “should we get an app?” is met with heads bent towards the menu studying what worthwhile starters are on there, not fingers swiping their way along the app store to find a free version of Tetris*. Is there an app for apps? Is that the most meta thing out there? Should I call a lawyer and take out a patent or a copyright or whatever the heck you use to make money off your ideas right now?

Nah. That sounds like too much of a hassle. Plus it’s nice out for the first time since September so for today let’s keep it short and sweet and I will serve as your App App.



WARM GOAT CHEESE and RED PEPPER JELLY

This app (okay I’m getting a little tired of it already) was something I made out of necessity because the friend who was bringing the appetizers was stuck in traffic and we were ready for a snack. It’s a slightly more bourgeois take on the old party classic: cream cheese and red pepper jelly. All you need to do is sub the cream cheese out for a log of goat cheese, dump some red pepper jelly over, microwave it for about 30 seconds, just to soften and warm it slightly and serve with crackers or crostini. Oh snap. Now that’s an app.



*does this exist? If so please message me privately and tell me how to buy it. I need a new time suck and Tetris always did the trick back in 1992.