how to dissapoint children and drink during the day

When it comes to disappointing children with my menu items, I’m very well versed. The spring vegetable bruschetta or healthy white bean hummus I’m apt to bring aren’t exactly kiddie crowd pleasers. Take for example this delicious, albeit very adult, punch which I brought to our family Easter lunch. When I busted out the punch bowl my niece Isabel was like, SO excited “oooh! Like we’re having a prom!” I enlisted all the kids’ help with putting the punch together and snapping these two quick photos. They were psyched. I had to break it to them that, while I would prepare them a test batch of non-alcoholic punch, once the cava went in the bowl was completely off limits to them. I’m like the worst aunt ever. "Hey, kids, here’s this hot pink/ purple drink concoction which looks delicious, appealing and fun and no, you can’t have any because it will make your behavior less predictable than it already is and your mom and I will get arrested. SOR-RYYY"

Fortunately, the flavor profile, whether boozed up or not, was not super appealing to their young palates anyways. Blackberries, they can dig, heck, maybe even lime, but ginger? It’s like I pureed Brussels sprouts right in there or something. One by one they each quietly pawned their glasses off on each other, except for Charlie, who’s 7 and brutally honest in the fashion that only an adorable 7 year old can get away with “um, Jessie, I’m sorry but I don’t like this (huge smile) it’s gross.” I felt far less guilty as I upended a bottle of bubbly wine into the bowl and my sister-in-law and I went on to drain several glasses. What do kids know about beverages anyways? The end all be all is a Capri Sun.

This punch is slightly spicy, a bit tart and very refreshing. Thanks to the addition of the ginger beer it’s a bit lower in alcohol than most high test punches (like the one that made my friend fall down her basement stairs at that one Christmas party- that’s a NIGHTTIME punch). This, this is a DAYTIME punch. As such, it’s absolutely perfect for brunch, lunch or the onslaught of bridal and baby showers that May and June bring. Not to mention the fact that it’s just the prettiest purple-pink color that you ever did see. If I ever have yet another (there’s been 2 and counting) Purple Rain-themed birthday party, well, let’s just say I know what I’m serving then.

SPARKLING WINE PUNCH with BLACKBERRY, GINGER and MINT 

1-2 bottles dry sparkling white wine (I prefer Cava*)
2 small boxes blackberries
Juice from one lime
Splash orange juice
2 tsp. grated ginger
1-2 inch piece lime zest
1-2 tbs. fresh mint leaves, plus more for garnish
2 bottles ginger beer

In a small saucepan, combine blackberries, lime and orange juices, ginger, lime zest and mint. Bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer. Let reduce approximately 15 minutes, remove from heat and let cool a bit. Using an immersion blender, regular blender or food processor, puree completely and filter through a fine mesh sieve. Punch base can be made 2-3 days ahead of time, store in the fridge in a sealed container. To make punch: fill a large punch bowl with ice, pour in punch base, one bottle of cava, two bottles of ginger beer and garnish with mint leaves.

red, white and rosé

I am, admittedly, a wee bit obsessed with rosé. I will talk about it passionately with anyone who will listen because I am determined that the world know how refreshing and delicious it is (in addition to being so very pretty). Rosé is refreshing and easy to drink but has a touch more complexity than your typical white wine. Not that I don’t like a cold glass of white, I am a Caucasian female: we’re pretty much programmed to pound the stuff. But my warm weather weekends almost always involve a chilled bottle of pretty pink wine (or two).



I knew for 4th of July that I wanted to make a punch to: a) use our radical new punch bowl; b) use up the delicious Sweet Cherry Simple Syrup I made last week; and, c) have enough hooch in it to make us sufficiently warm and fuzzy because nothing to me says “Happy Birthday America” like a cool buzz, some smoked meats and some mother loving fireworks. Tonight I plan on having all three and I wish you the same. Happy 4th.



RED, WHITE and ROSE PUNCH

(for one)

½-¾ cup chilled rose wine
Juice from half a lemon
1-2 oz. Sweet Cherry Simple Syrup
Ice
Seltzer

Frozen cherries
Slicced lemons

Fill a rocks glass or stem less wine glass with ice. Drizzle in Cherry Syrup, add the lemon juice and rose; stir together to combine well. Top off with seltzer. Garnish with frozen cherries or any other fruit (peaches or strawberries would also taste great). Serve immediately and repeat until feeling sufficiently patriotic.



(for a crowd)

2 bottles chilled rose wine
Juice from 2 lemons
½ - ¾ cup* Sweet Cherry Simple Syrup
1/3 container frozen lemonade concentrate (like Minute Maid)
1 ½ liters seltzer
Frozen cherries, lemon slices, or any other fresh cut fruit for color and garnish

Combine Cherry Syrup, lemon juice, frozen lemonade and rose in a large pitcher or punch bowl; stir together to combine well, add the cherries and any other fruit. Set in the fridge until ready to serve, anywhere from an hour to overnight. When ready, fill pitcher or bowl with ice and top off with seltzer. You can also use less seltzer for a more concentrated punch; or, if you’re a real boozehound use a bottle of Prosecco or Cava instead (no judgment here, I think it’s a swell idea).

*(the amount depends on how sweet you want your finished punch, add it to taste)

sippin' on some syzzurp

There is a song that came out when I was in college called that. It was about people drinking cough syrup to catch a buzz. This post is not about that (sorry to disappoint). I’m all for freedom of expression but I can’t say I would advocate drinking Nyquil to get crunk. That just sounds...unpleasant. That song, however, always made me giggle and forever changed me in that I cannot read, see or think the word “syrup” without nodding my head slightly and rapping “sip sip sippin’ on some syzzurp.” It’s an affliction I’ll live with the rest of my life.

 


Cherries have been everywhere lately and they are cheap and ripe and ready to go. I find them hard to resist because they are so cute. So naturally I found myself with a big satchel of cherries but without the spare time or inclination to pit a mother lode of them in order to make a pie, crumble or cobbler. I wanted to do something that was, by its very definition, simple. A Sweet Cherry Simple Syrup to be used drizzled on top of ice cream, as the base for boozy cherry lemonade, in homemade popsicles or for any other host of seasonally appropriate uses. I found the finished product delicious- if a bit too sweet to be used over (already sweet) ice cream, but perfect for mixing up fizzy, summery cocktails and mocktails with




SWEET CHERRY SIMPLE SYRUP 


1 cup water
1 cup sugar 
1 ½ cup cherries, pitted 
Juice from one lemon 
2 inch piece lemon zest 

 


Bring water and sugar to a boil over high heat and stir gently, letting boil until clear (this happens relatively quickly so stay nearby). Reduce heat to low, add cherries, lemon juice and lemon peel. Bring to a low simmer and let cook for about 10-15 minutes.




Remove from heat. Let cool a bit and puree with an immersion blender or by pouring the whole mix into a food processor or blender. Let the chunky syrup sit at room temperature until completely cooled. Strain through a fine mesh strainer into a jar or glass. Store in the fridge. Makes about 1 ½ cups Cherry Syrup.




When I was speaking with a coworker about cherries the other day he said he didn’t like them because they have such a strong flavor connection to cough syrup. But for me, when I think “cherry” and “cough” I don’t think about syzzurp per se, but that delicious candy-disguised-as-medicinal-aid known as Loudon’s Cough Drops. When I was little and I had a sore throat if my mom bought me Loudon’s I would snarf down the whole box before I even had so much as a tickle. They were so good. As I drained this here mocktail (which could easily be turned into a grown up drink) today the sweet cherry flavor reminded me of those delicious, if useless, faux British drops of my childhood. I think I feel a sore throat coming on, I may have to go buy a box to snack on, er, sooth my throat. Or maybe I’ll just grab another ice cold Loudon’s Fizz.




LOUDON’S FIZZ 


1-2 tsp. Sweet Cherry Simple Syrup 
Juice from half a lemon 
1 can lemon flavored seltzer 
Ice 


Lemon slices and frozen cherries (optional)


 


Pour Cherry Syrup over ice; add the lemon juice and garnishes, if using. Fill glass to brim with seltzer. Stir together gently and enjoy immediately.

 


Citron vodka would be amazing in this. Or forgo the whole can of seltzer, fill the glass half full with Prosecco or Cava and top off with seltzer. I’m planning on using the remainder of my syrup in a wine-based punch for 4th of July. Look out for that recipe sometime next week.

that magical time

It must be the holidays because I’m writing this from my kitchen table, where I can hear the jingle jangle of two mental cats slowly dismantling my tree and eating all of my favorite ornaments. Yes, it’s that magical time of year where we increase our sugar intake six fold and rediscover the sheer joy of weekday morning hangovers. What better drink to mark this magical season than a beverage made of whole eggs and milk (and sometimes bourbon)? Eggnog is kind of messed up if you think about it. While I love the flavor of nog I can only drink about a half cup serving of it before I get short of breath.



So what I like to do with eggnog is drink just a tiny bit of it, but use the rest to bake with. Last year I whipped up an eggnog bread pudding with the last of my nog and it was amazing. These cookies are this year’s addition to my “Baking with Nog” series…they are a bit “rustic” looking (a/k/a lumpy and a little ugly) but I have to tell you, they taste delicious. Just like eggnog, only with the crumble of a cookie. You can’t beat that.



EGGNOG COOKIES
(found on allrecipes.com)

1 ¼ cups white sugar
¾ cup butter, softened at room temp.
½ cup eggnog
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 egg yolks
½ teaspoon ground nutmeg (plus a little more for sprinkling)
2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

Look how pretty the inside of nutmeg is. Like a fine wood grain:



Preheat oven to 300 degrees (my oven runs low, so I found 325 was a much better temp). Combine flour, baking powder, cinnamon and nutmeg in a medium sized bowl. Cream sugar and butter until light and fluffy. Add eggnog, vanilla, and egg yolks; beat at medium speed with mixer until smooth. Incorporate flour mixture in batches until just combined. Do not over mix. Drop the dough by rounded teaspoons onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or a silpat liner and sprinkle a touch more nutmeg over.



Bake 20-23 minutes until the bottoms turn light brown (the cookies will still be quite pale). Remove from oven and let cool.

Store in an airtight container. These will keep for several days and in fact, they tasted much better two days after they were made.



I am spending the remainder of my day working on some edible gifts. If you have the time, I think including a couple homemade treats at Christmas is always nice. Here’s some inspiration for simple homemade edibles from Porky’s past:

Got someone who likes pickled anything? Whip them up a jar of these easy pickled red onions, hot and spicy pickled jalapenos or straight up pickles.

Giving a gift to your favorite lovable boozebag? They’ll love my Cranberry Moonshine. It’s perfect to drizzle into a glass of bubbly or spoon over vanilla ice cream for an Adult Sundae.

Sweet tooth? Last year’s Almond Joy Balls were super delicious and shockingly pain free for my first foray into making candy.

what i know

Now that I am an esteemed wine professional, simply everyone wants to know what I’m drinking this Thanksgiving. And by “everyone” I of course mean that my mom said my Aunt Lisa asked her what I might recommend. The fan base is strong and growing rapidly. Since I’m still pretty green at the wine game, I can only tell people what I know. I’ve got some time yet before I’m explaining in great detail the wine makers of particular villages in Southwestern France or anything like that but I can tell you at this point in time is what I’m drinking and why I like it.



This Thanksgiving we’re heading to Paul’s aunt’s house and I’m bringing some nice cheese and crackers and three current faves: a bottle of bubbles, a red and a white. For the sparkler, I chose the Hi! Prosecco. I’ve never met a prosecco I didn’t like and this is one I sampled the other night at our Thanksgiving Wine Education Dinner is no exception. It’s the perfect drink to get the party started. For me whenever a cork pops out of a bottle of bubbles, whether it be a fine champagne (pronounced: cham panyah) some cava or prosecco it’s exciting. When I’m in mixed company I have to resist the constant urge to go “WOOOO!” when I hear a cork pop, because to me it’s the sound of a good time.



The white is a French blend called Chat en Oeuf (from my 7th grade French education, that’s “cat on egg” the phrase itself is a play on words). Full disclosure: I love it solely based on the graphic on the label of a fat, striped cat sitting on an egg. I happen to have a fat, striped cat sitting directly on my feet right now and if something reminds me of Bruce, well then my heart softens for it a bit. So yeah, I picked this wine because it reminds me of my kitty. I hope it’s tasty. I’m officially a crazy cat lady. Someone call the Sad Police.



The red I’m bringing I’m currently obsessed with. It’s a delicious, light, but nuanced Pinot Noir from California. Pinot Noir has been pushed by wine geeks as THE Thanksgiving Wine and honestly, that’s just because it works. There are so many flavors on the Thanksgiving table that you don’t want a giant, heavy red wine competing for your attention. You want something subtle and elegant. This Block Nine Pinot fits the bill for me. It’s delicious, it’s reasonably priced and the design on the front is really gorgeous. For me I need the bottle to look good too. It’s nice when you find something that pleases you from the label all the way to the finish.



As much as this holiday sort of snuck up on me, I’m really looking forward to Thursday. I have an enormous amount to be thankful for right now and taking a little time to reflect on that for which I am grateful, enjoy some wine and food and wash it all down with a gravy chaser sounds good to me! Hey remember, at this time last year I was getting ready to make the Worst Pie of All Time. So really, anything is an improvement! Happy Thanksgiving. xo, jess

the juice is loose

A friend of mine used to go to Red Sox games with his little nephew and when his nephew asked what kind of juice he was drinking (beer) he called it “Uncle Ted’s Baseball Juice.” Since I always got a kick out of that, this sangria is Auntie Jessie’s Beach Juice, if I may borrow the phrase.



The only annoying thing about this sangria is that you have to pour your pureed watermelon through a fine mesh strainer. Oh, and the other annoying thing is that it tastes like juice but punches you in the drunk button like grain alcohol, so if you get annoyed by stuff like that, it might not be the drink for you. Personally, I think that’s okay in certain circumstances, but you just wouldn’t want to gun back a couple mugs of this if it was say, your new boyfriend’s niece’s birthday party and your debut to his extended family, stuff like that. If you, like me, were at a gathering with people who have known you since you were in diapers and withhold judgment on holiday indulgence, by all means, giddy up. OR, alternately, cut the punch with some cold seltzer water; I like to do that with most sangrias anyways.




WATERMELON SANGRIA

2 lbs. seedless watermelon, peeled and cubed
1 bottle dry white wine or a light, dry rose
6 ounces vodka
4 ounces Cointreau or triple sec
Ice

2-4 oz. simple syrup (optional)
juice from lemon (optional)



I found an original recipe for this on Food and Wine and it called for citrus infused simple syrup to be added, namely, as much simple syrup as Cointreau. This will make your drink waaaay too sweet, since watermelon itself adds plenty of sweetness. Fortunately, having my suspicions about the amount of simple syrup and having a general distaste for too-sweet cocktails, I taste tested after adding only half the syrup the recipe had called for. WAY too sweet. I cut the sweetness by squeezing the juice from a lemon and an orange into the sangria to dilute it with a little tart-ness.





In a blender or food processor, puree the watermelon (in batches, if necessary) until smooth. Pour through a fine mesh strainer into a pitcher. Add the wine, vodka, Cointreau (or triple sec) and the simple syrup, if using. Stir and refrigerate at least two hours, or even overnight. Pour over ice to serve, top off with soda water to add bubbles and dilute if it’s too strong for your liking. I never got a good photo of individual glasses of this sweet nectar, because I was too busy taking pictures of my mom leading a parade of youngsters singing Grand Old Flag (true life). But, on ice, garnished with a slice of watermelon or wedge of lime, it's just as pretty as it tastes. Summertime in a glass. Just remember: NOT JUICE.



Also, in light of the photo above, I just wanted to add that today is my mom's birthday. I've gotten many things from my mom: my zest for appetizers, man sized tolerance for white wine and love for having fun; but most applicable here, this woman raised me to love the kitchen, and for that I thank her very much. Love you Piz. xoxoxo

smooth but tough

This cocktail is a great summer drink. It’s tart, sweet and refreshing, but with a nice amount of boozy bite. The bourbon doesn’t get lost in the lemonade which is a good thing because I believe a cocktail should taste like a cocktail not a sleeve of Sprees. It’s smooth but tough. I think I’ll call it the Burt Reynolds. Because early Burt Reynolds is equal parts lady-friendly sass and mustachioed bad assery. He’s like the kind of dude who will totally get a pedicure with you and somehow make it seem very masculine. Maybe that’s because the vibe I get from him is that if you dared to make fun of him he’d show you the business end of his cowboy boots and fast.



When I originally made this drink I just eyed it out, because of my years of study in the bartending sciences. What I’ve put together here are some approximations, so if it tastes like straight snake poison, adjust the amounts accordingly by adding more lemonade mix and water to thin out the bourbon. I’ve offered two varieties: one round, or a full pitcher. Choose whichever suits your needs.



BURT REYNOLDS (a/k/a Vanilla Bourbon Lemonade)

To make just one round of Burts:

ice
2-3 oz. Bourbon
½ tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 heaping tablespoons frozen lemonade concentrate
water (¾ - 1 cup)

Fill a martini shaker with ice cubes. Pour in bourbon (to measure out ounces just count: three ounces “one, two, three” while a steady stream of booze pours in- not, mind you giant splashes, but a steady stream) if you’re not comfortable or tend to have a heavy pour, use a jigger. Add vanilla and two scoops lemonade. Pour in water (probably about 1-1 ½ cups). Cover the shaker and shake well. Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice, garnish with lemon twist or a slice of lemon.

To make a pitcher of Burts:

ice
1 cup bourbon (I like Maker’s Mark)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
half container Frozen lemonade concentrate (Minutemaid)
2-3 cups water, or dilute to taste

Fill a large pitcher with ice. Add bourbon, vanilla and lemonade concentrate. Top with water, stir well. Serve over ice, garnished with lemon twists or slices. If your Burts come out super tart, you could also opt to dilute the drink with a splash or two of soda water. If they come out too weak, add some more bourbon, dummy.



Also, I can’t NOT mention this cake. I saw this last month on Smitten Kitchen and I drooled. I made it Sunday with some fresh, local strawberries. Do yourself a favor and make this cake immediately. The strawberries are perfect right now.



It is sooooooooooo good. It’s also very pretty in a nice rustic way and would make an excellent dessert, OR a great addition to a brunch spread. Do it. DO IT NOW!





Also, do yourself a favor and make homemade whipped cream with it. My corner store only had Cool Whip, which is disgusting and tastes as though it’s actually giving you diseases as you eat it. No ‘fence (as my niece Charlie would say) if you’re a fan. I am decidedly not. Seriously, make this cake, it's silly it's so good.