get to it

Someone should tell my Pandora station that I loathe Michael Buble. Every five minutes one of his Christmas songs is jammed in there. But it's sort of okay because the last such offense was followed immediately by Stevie Wonder's Someday at Christmas, which I wrapped around myself like a warm blanket combined with a hug from my nana. If you haven't heard that one in your Christmas listening, please, get to it.



There is not much time around these parts, I'm cranking this post out as I finish laundry, wrapping, crafting, etc., etc. But this bark was pretty decent, so I wanted to share it in case you want something else to put on your To Do List right now (cha right). I used this recipe here. You should note that you do NOT stir the sugar once it boils, you just stare at it until it turns amber colored. This will make sense if you choose to make this. Also, don't feel bad if it doesn't come out the first time. My first batch was a bust, so I skipped the caramel part all together.



The end result of this bark is deep and very, well, adult flavored. Paul called it "manly" and I think that is an accurate description. I don't care for it too much, but if you are a dark chocolate lover, make it. It's simple and tasty. Next time, I will make it with milk chocolate, because I like my sweets a little sweeter.



Merry, Merry Christmas. Good luck with the rest of the scrambling and keep in mind that it's all worth it when you get to hang out with your loved ones and EAT, DRINK and unwrap presents! As Michael Scott says: "Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It's this tangible thing that you can point to and say 'I love you this many dollars worth'" Well I love you a million dollars worth. Merry Christmas! xoxo, jess

a little something something

Tis the season for fancy spiced nuts. This project is for the Anti Marthas among us. I think everyone likes the idea of giving people a little something something homemade at the holidays; but not all of us relish the idea of spending a whole December Saturday holed up in their kitchen knee deep in melted chocolate. I mean, we all have better things to do right? Like boxing out people at the clearance ornament rack at Target or putting hexes on the first born children of the people that won’t let us in the line to pull out of the parking lot (just kidding, I'm super zen in the car).



These Thai spiced cashews are just the thing. Homemade enough to let people know you care about them enough to turn your oven on, but fast and easy enough to let you maintain your sanity. Extra bonus: they are also crazy delicious.



Let’s be honest with each other, shall we? When encountered with a bowl of holiday nut mix or even regular, non holiday nut mix of any sort we sit there and pick out the cashews. Maybe sometimes the macadamia nuts if we’re feeling adventurous. No? Anyone? Just me? Well anyways, I thought my favorite nut would be delicious with some Thai flavors mixed in. A little spicy, a little sweet, these are completely addictive and I need to make another batch before I eat all of my gifting ones.



THAI SPICED CASHEWS

One package roasted, salted cashews
One egg white
One tablespoon water
1 ½ tablespoons Sriracha hot sauce
¼ teaspoon cayenne
½ teaspoon Vietnamese cinnamon
½ teaspoon ground ginger
¼ cup brown sugar
1-2 teaspoons granulated sugar, if necessary



Preheat oven to 300. Combine egg white, water and Sriracha in a bowl. Beat together with a fork to combine. Add cashews and use a rubber spatula to toss together in order to coat the nuts in liquid. Add spices and brown sugar, toss together thoroughly to coat.



Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silpat liner. Pour nuts into pan in one even layer, making sure to scrape out the extra “juice” on top of the nuts. Bake at 300 for 30 minutes, tossing every so often and rotating the pan to ensure even roasting.



These are delicious as is. However, I’m making another batch tomorrow for stocking stuffers and I want the second batch to be a bit spicier. So I’m going to slightly up the amount of Sriracha and cayenne. The guys in my life like em spicy. SPICY!

that magical time

It must be the holidays because I’m writing this from my kitchen table, where I can hear the jingle jangle of two mental cats slowly dismantling my tree and eating all of my favorite ornaments. Yes, it’s that magical time of year where we increase our sugar intake six fold and rediscover the sheer joy of weekday morning hangovers. What better drink to mark this magical season than a beverage made of whole eggs and milk (and sometimes bourbon)? Eggnog is kind of messed up if you think about it. While I love the flavor of nog I can only drink about a half cup serving of it before I get short of breath.



So what I like to do with eggnog is drink just a tiny bit of it, but use the rest to bake with. Last year I whipped up an eggnog bread pudding with the last of my nog and it was amazing. These cookies are this year’s addition to my “Baking with Nog” series…they are a bit “rustic” looking (a/k/a lumpy and a little ugly) but I have to tell you, they taste delicious. Just like eggnog, only with the crumble of a cookie. You can’t beat that.



EGGNOG COOKIES
(found on allrecipes.com)

1 ¼ cups white sugar
¾ cup butter, softened at room temp.
½ cup eggnog
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 egg yolks
½ teaspoon ground nutmeg (plus a little more for sprinkling)
2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

Look how pretty the inside of nutmeg is. Like a fine wood grain:



Preheat oven to 300 degrees (my oven runs low, so I found 325 was a much better temp). Combine flour, baking powder, cinnamon and nutmeg in a medium sized bowl. Cream sugar and butter until light and fluffy. Add eggnog, vanilla, and egg yolks; beat at medium speed with mixer until smooth. Incorporate flour mixture in batches until just combined. Do not over mix. Drop the dough by rounded teaspoons onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or a silpat liner and sprinkle a touch more nutmeg over.



Bake 20-23 minutes until the bottoms turn light brown (the cookies will still be quite pale). Remove from oven and let cool.

Store in an airtight container. These will keep for several days and in fact, they tasted much better two days after they were made.



I am spending the remainder of my day working on some edible gifts. If you have the time, I think including a couple homemade treats at Christmas is always nice. Here’s some inspiration for simple homemade edibles from Porky’s past:

Got someone who likes pickled anything? Whip them up a jar of these easy pickled red onions, hot and spicy pickled jalapenos or straight up pickles.

Giving a gift to your favorite lovable boozebag? They’ll love my Cranberry Moonshine. It’s perfect to drizzle into a glass of bubbly or spoon over vanilla ice cream for an Adult Sundae.

Sweet tooth? Last year’s Almond Joy Balls were super delicious and shockingly pain free for my first foray into making candy.

for love and cured meats

The first time I cooked dinner for Paul I made cod wrapped in prosciutto. I thought it would read as impressive without being too labor intensive (I had to look cute and be able to flirt and cook at the same time). Last week, we sat down over pan seared pork chops and drafted the guest list to our wedding(!). This morning, I got up early to make him a prosciutto and pesto calzone for his work potluck lunch (like a total wife) and you know what? I secretly really it. The point is I’m not saying that cooking with prosciutto and related pork products is the key to romantic success, but I’m just sayin’ if you use them liberally, they might just get you hitched.





We have been engaged for two months now and neither of us can say the word “fiancée” without wincing awkwardly or saying it like Elaine from Seinfeld. I’ve found Paul has jumped straight to calling me “wife” while I prefer the more scientific sounding “Future Husband” (picture him in a space suit). I held off on writing a post about the engagement on here (not because I didn’t want to) so that we could tell friends the good news in person. This isn’t the last I’ll mention the upcoming nuptials, but details I share on here will be sparse, I promise. The last thing the world needs is another wedding blog to teach it how to spend thousands of dollars on bedazzled sea shell favors and the difference between light blue, baby blue, robin’s egg blue and periwinkle. Totally mental.



So enough about love, let’s get back to the salt cured pork, shall we? That’s what you come for right? I’ve been heavy into prosciutto ever since college, when I lived on Arthur Avenue (the real Little Italy) in the Bronx. A deli called Tino’s has always, and (hopefully) will always have the World’s Greatest Prosciutto, Mozzarella and Basil sandwich known by mankind, in this century or any other. This calzone is a take on that classic combination. If it works as a sandwich, trust me it will work rolled up and baked into pizza dough. I mean, really, what wouldn’t?



TINO’S PESTO and PROSCIUTTO CALZONE

Pizza dough (store bought or homemade, enough for one pizza)
Shredded part skim mozzarella or Italian 4 cheese blend* (approx. 1-1 ½ cups)
¼ lb. thinly sliced prosciutto
¼ lb. Genoa salami
Approx. ½ cup pesto (either homemade or store bought)

Olive oil or olive oil spray
2 tbsp. butter



*while I’m normally an advocate of buying blocks or cheese and grating it yourself (it’s cheaper, tastes better), in this case I do think that a bagged shredded cheese works well. Because it’s pre-shredded, it has less moisture, so your calzone won’t get soggy on the bottom. I like Cabot or Sargento is fine as well.



Preheat your oven to 400. Let your dough hang out at room temperature for a bit while you gather your ingredients; if you live in a drafty old house like me, place the dough near to the heat of the stove as it preheats, to give it a little help. Dust your countertop or cutting board with flour and roll out the dough to a wide rectangular shape. Use a spoon or spatula to spread a layer of pesto right in the middle of this rectangle (about half a store bought package or approx. ½- ¾ of a cup). Leave room at the front and back or your dough for folding over and a little edge on either side for sealing the ends. Sprinkle a layer of cheese on top of the pesto and then arrange a layer of prosciutto on top. You will only use half of the ¼ pounds of prosciutto and salami; I saved the rest and made another calzone with the same ingredients. It’s calzone-central around here these days. Also, I should mention, I pulled any large, fatty edges off of my prosciutto just so no one eating the calzone would have one of those experiences where they take a bite and pull the whole filling out with that bite (that’s the worst).



Following the prosciutto, sprinkle a bit more cheese and then layer slices of salami. Top this with remaining cheese (the most yet) and then fold the bottom half up and then layer the top half on top, using your fingers to pinch it closed. Fold the ends over and tuck them in, giving them a quick pinch to seal. Transfer your calzone to a lightly oiled cookie sheet and then microwave the butter in a small bowl or ramekin for about 20 seconds, or until it is liquefied. Use a brush to brush a layer of butter over the top of the calzone and then cut a couple small slits in the top of the dough for ventilation. Bake in the oven for 10-12 minutes*, or until the bottom is lightly browned, as well as the top. You may also be able to see cheese bubbling out of the ventilation holes. When you take it out give it a tap with your finger tips to make sure that the dough is cooked.

*My oven runs cool, so I ended up cooking this at 425 for about 12 minutes, but if your oven tends to run hotter, check it between 8 and 10 minutes of cooking.



QUICK MARINARA SAUCE (optional for dipping)

1 can diced tomatoes in sauce
1 clove garlic, minced
1 small onion, finely diced
Good quality dried oregano and basil
Salt, pepper, sugar

I let this simmer while I prepared my calzone so that we would have a little something to dip it in. Tomatoes out of the can taste very acidic so you need to give them a little love. What I did was heated up a sauce pan with a generous splash of olive oil, added the onion, then the garlic and the can of tomatoes. I let it simmer a few minutes and then added about scant tablespoon each of the oregano and basil then a generous amount of salt, pepper and a big pinch of sugar to cut the acid. I turned the heat down and let it simmer for about an hour. Taste and adjust seasonings as necessary.



Serve on the side of the calzones. It’s a nice balance to serve sauce with this particular calzone because the prosciutto makes it pretty salty. These travel well and are delicious re-warmed in an oven or at room temp.

some assembly required

On Sunday we had a Quiche Eating Contest, I mean Baby Shower Brunch, for my cousin at my aunt's house. I was told to bring an appetizer. But what exactly is an appropriate appetizer for brunch? I figured something with smoked salmon would be a good fit, so I threw these little bites together. I'm quite sure I saw a recipe of this sort on the internet somewhere a long time ago but what my mother heard was "she just made it up on the spot and she's a GENIUS!" Come to think of it that scenario describes every culinary achievement of mine my mother has ever crowed about. I think we know where I get my inflated sense of self esteem.



Regardless of that, these are perfect tasty little bites and here's why this appetizer is worth sharing here: you can pick up the ingredients at the store on the way to your party and assemble them there as you chat and catch up with the host(ess). At this time of year when time is at a premium, you can't get much better than that.


SMOKED SALMON POTATO CHIP BITES

one package Scottish smoked salmon
Small container sour cream
fresh dill
bag of kettle cooked potato chips. Either salted or salt and pepper*

*I prefer Kettle brand for these, the chips tend to be bigger than Cape Cods. But I prefer Cape Cods in real life because I gotta represent (throws up coastal New England gang sign that looks like a lighthouse).

This is more assembly instructions than an actual recipe per se, but here's how to put them together:

Take a single chip, smear with a touch of sour cream, top with a small slice of smoked salmon and a pinch of dill. Repeat times a million until you run out of salmon. I made a quick onion dip with the rest of the sour cream and served it with all the leftover chips. These things move fast, you may want to assemble them out of grabbing range of hungry people.